A Phenomenological Experience of an Artwork

My intention was to write a description of the above on the Douglas Gordon piece, Confessions of a Justified Sinner. I cannot particularly give my reasoning for this, only for some reason this stood out to me over any other piece I had recently seen. Gordon has always been a particular favourite artist of mine; I seem to be able to relate my thoughts to his and gain understanding from them. I decided upon the artwork before truly discussing the idea of phenomenology, thinking this may be the best approach.

On viewing the meanings of phenomenology, it stuck me that the process of the task I have been asked to do is somewhat obscure.

‘Phenomenology is the study of structures of consciousness as experienced from the first-person point of view.’

The above is taken from the Stanford Encyclopedia Of Philosophy. The phrase structures of consciousness is particularly confusing as it suggests that what appears to our consciousness has the ability to be categorized. My impression of phenomenology is that it is a moment in time when the object you are confronted which completely overcomes your senses and emotions. The feeling it gives cannot be explained through any method of reason, but a connection has been made between yourself and the object, which has triggered memory and experiences to the forefront through your senses. Logic is void.

I have experienced this most significantly when listening to music. My most recent example of this was listening to the song Together by The Raconteurs, which appears on the album Broken Boy Soldiers. I have heard this song many times before, but it was only at moment I am about to refer to that it had such a specific effect. The moment was not particularly special; I was sat in my studio listening to this song on my ipod. There wasn’t very people around, it was quite quiet and I was doing anything else at the time. I cannot really say why the piece had such a profound effect on my, only that it seemed I had no control over myself, and I started crying in the studio. This is something against all of my rational instincts, to publicly display true emotion on a reason no-one else could relate too for it was very much my personal experience.

My apologies for being vague in this description, but as previously stated, I find this a very bemusing task. My phenomenological experience was taken from an object containing great structure, which was interpreted by my senses in this moment. In trying to write of this moment, I am re-categorising the event into a system of the English language, which is known to myself in any case. I am re-establishing a system through text that can never truly be done, and in trying to do so is undermining the original concept. This reasoning is also true of trying to recreate the emotion of this situation. I have since listened to this piece and tried to establish the same feeling as this moment. Due to my awareness of what I wanted it achieve however, I was unable to do so, I was putting pressure on the experience, it ceased to be a natural response.

I now find myself feeling slightly foolish in selecting the object of this writing before researching the concept. The same experience occurred when trying to recapture the moment of the song Together, I pressured myself into letting the Gordon piece to overcome my senses, rather than exposing myself to works and allowing the process to naturally occur. Although Gordon’s work means a lot to me, as I was approaching it with intent and reasoning, I was holding myself back from full involvement within it, preventing it from fully capturing my senses.